Earlier this week, I met with a couple of my closest friends and my mentor; we had dinner and talked about college and how our plans were different from before. It made me nostalgic about the past, it also made me re-think what's happening my life right now. When I was in grade school, I was part of the top students of my batch, editor-in-chief and feature writer for our school newspaper, the always-class officer and all around bibbo-kid. That time, I was so sure that I was going to take journalism in college and I’m going to be a feature writer. Then came high school, I lost track of what I want – I was in the come-what-may stage of my life and I guess, it helped that I enjoyed high school for what it is – the fun and the struggle of growing up. During my junior year, when you had to decide where you want to go to college, I just sure of one thing – It had to be in the field of Communication Arts. Luckily, Assumption College offered Communication Arts Major in Media Production which was everything that I want. A few years back when I was in my last year of college, my mother told me whenever we go to Glorietta and Greenbelt when I was young, my dad would see Assumptionistas in the mall and he kept saying he wanted to have an Assumptionista daughter (And he has now an Assumptionista daughter! ). He never did mention it, he never pressures me into anything – he wants me to choose what I really want. In college, I thought I had it all figured out – I was an uno student, student-leader and all around bossy-girl (Ha ha) I was so sure that I was going to be a film producer / director after college. Looking back on my paper that we did for Mr. Potrido in Theo class, I planned on being an film production apprentice after college, then sooner or later, be able to produce or direct a film under Star Cinema. I was reading it and I was like “What was I thinking?” It was very idealistic, but I also realized that on the very least that time, I knew what I wanted. Going back to the dinner with my friends, we talked about where we are now; it was so different to what we initially wanted. My group of friends and I led different class and org video productions thinking that we will all end up in production houses and TV stations. Now, there were just two of my friends who are involved in production and the rest are in the corporate world. I thought I knew where I was going, but when I started working, I started to question what I really want. Even now, I don’t even know what I really want and which career path I should pursue. I just know that I enjoy doing events, marketing and branding. A couple of times, I wanted to quit my job and find a new one, then I tend to ask myself “Where do I want to go next? What do I want to do now?” and the honest answer is I DON’T KNOW. One of the things that left a mark on me was during our Theology class with Ms Pia, we were talking about our faith – she said that it was okay to question our own faith, because in this way - we grow, we find ourselves, we learn and it strengthens our relationship with our God. I think this also applies to our life goals and careers, I believe that it is okay to be lost and question ourselves on where should we go and what do we want because we wander and we search for meaning, purpose and in this way, we find ourselves going to where we want to go. During our Philo class with Sir Jess, he told us that it is okay to not know what you like as long as you know what you don’t like. At that time I don’t appreciate its meaning (as much as I do now). Now that I feel so lost, I realized there’s so much wisdom with what he said. I know that I DON’T want to be unemployed, I DON’T want to be in production, and I DON’T want to have long, stressful working hours – and what I realized is that it was already a start and I had to start somewhere, right? And knowing what I don’t want is a beginning because I know that I won’t be taking that direction so obviously, there is another direction that I can explore to know what I really want. I know that at this point of my life, this is just normal. People my age are also going through this crisis about career and life. And you know what’s good about getting lost? It's finding more than what you expect, more than what you already thought you knew, and the wisdom from the people you meet. I don’t know where this journey will take me, but right now I am enjoying wandering and taking all the chances and risks that I could. And if I did find my place and what I want, you’re the first to know. xoxo, M
1 Comment
Accidental chef
6/17/2015 11:24:33 pm
Try doing any form of charity work using your current skills. Or any service work like cooking for the hungry.
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She wonders and wandersMonica writes about her life, what she eats, what she reads and where she goes. This space is where her thoughts, experiences, memories and feelings turn into words. She's glad that she can share with you. Archives
August 2021
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