Today, I turn 29. I'm nearing the end of my calendar years, and in the coming year, I'll be in my early 30s (WHAAT!! Can someone please stop time?!) I had plans for today, but here we are, on the nth lockdown, fighting the pandemic. I'm bored at home with nothing to do and no plans, so I decided to write a letter to both my 19-year-old and 39-year-old self. Looking back at my 2011-2012 files, I realized how transformative my 19th year was. It was such a thrill and I remember how fun it was - trying so many new things and meeting new people. To Monica, 10 years agoDear 2011 Monica,
First off, I hope you're proud of yourself. This is the year you'll meet new people, make new friends, and travel to new places. This has to be one of the most enjoyable years of your life, and you should take full advantage of it. Some of the new acquaintances you made this year will still be your friends in ten years, so cherish them. This is where you'll lose yourself but I assure you, you will find yourself. This is a year of self-discovery. I understand how frustrating it is to compare oneself to other girls who are (you think) more talented, beautiful, more popular than you. Thinking maybe the only way you'll be noticed by the guy you like is becoming like them - I'm glad you didn't. You found your own self rather than blending and becoming like the other girls. To update you - even after 10 years, you didn't get the guy romantically per se, but you became good friends with him. I wish you would stop pining for him, but I'm sure you will... years later, over ramen in a very public place. HAHA. (That's a story for another day) This will also be the year that you get to travel with your friends and fall in love with travelling. Sleeping on the beach, drinking, dancing and being young and free. Most importantly, missing that flight back to Mnl and being broke. That crazy experience will always have a space in your heart and will always be a turning point of what you'll be doing in the years after - wondering and wandering. This is also the year you'll discover your love for movies. You, like the 7-year-old you, aspire to work in the industry as a writer, director, or producer. I'm glad to have the thrilling pleasure of exploring that possibility. And conquering your stage fright / performance anxiety is one of the most exhilarating moments of your life. If a local play allows non-theater club members to audition, take advantage of it since you will always always remember on how daring and brave you were at the time. Acting in front of a large audience. Something that takes you wayyyy beyond your comfort zone. This is going to give you confidence and assurance that you can do more than hide behind the camera and words. Don't let your fear of not being good enough keep you from doing the things you love. You'll make a lot of mistakes along the way, but I'm sure you tried your best to make it worthwhile. Many things may have gone differently, but life has a way of surprising you. Instead of being afraid of falling, be afraid of not being able to experience new things. If you love someone, love them deeply. If you truly care, show it. You value your independence, so don't worry about giving too much; instead, make sure to do things with all your heart. This is your best year, yet. Make it a good one. Love, Monica from 2021
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She wonders and wandersMonica writes about her life, what she eats, what she reads and where she goes. This space is where her thoughts, experiences, memories and feelings turn into words. She's glad that she can share with you. Archives
August 2021
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